I was married for a really long time I won’t go into the exact date because it ages me. This article is meant to inspire you. And give you healthy tips on how to get out of a funk after you’ve been dumped. I’m not much of a barfly. And even if I was with Covid and all you really can’t go there. But let’s be real online dating can be so impersonal.

Swipe left or swipe right seems easy enough.  Then why do all my friends say it’s work. That’s right it’s hard work.  I wanted to crack the code on this online dating thing. Why are some people successful and others not.

Talking to someone you don’t know is awkward. Small talk is boring. And then the amount of time that goes by between each message is ridiculous. No wonder why people get frustrated with these dating apps. I mean you can’t check the app all the time. And I can’t expect them to check the app all the time either.

If you are like most of us we want to find that special someone. Now you tell me is a bar really the place you want to meet your future mate? You’re investing so much time just to go out and hope you meet someone. And then you see a cute person but you have no idea if they are even single. All primping and time it took for you to get ready and they don’t even talk to you at all.. And then you meet some gross inappropriate people out there that make it even more awkward. What is a single person to do?

What app is the best out there? 

There really are all kinds of apps. Apps that the women makes the first move, apps  where the men make the first move. And then there are the ones that I’m not sure who is supposed to make a move.  lol

But you’re going to have to start somewhere. For me, I tried POF, Bumble, and Tinder. Are there better apps?  Probably!  Is one better than the other?  It depends on who you’re talking to, what they are looking for, it might even depend on the day of the week. 

One of my friends had met her husband online. So, I asked her what her secret was. She said she went on 32 dates and she was just about to give up and on the 32nd date she knew instantly he was the guy. So I think to myself OK I’m up for the challenge, I’ll do 30 dates in 30 days.  

Oh hell yeah, I did 30 dates in 30 days. Sometimes I felt like I was living the romantic comedy movie “Love Guaranteed.” I would even have three dates in one day, so that I would meet my monthly goal.   I know you’re gonna think that’s crazy, but it was easier for me to get dressed up one time and go on three dates and call it a day.  It sounds exhausting, but to tell you the truth, it was kinda fun.

Out of the 30 dates I only met four guys that I would go on a second date with. And only three of those I would go on a third date with. 

Did I meet a great guy. Hell YEAH,  I did!  He was contestant number seven. LOL Did I continue on my 30 dates? Yes, I did. I just wanted to make sure that I had no doubt that he was the one. LOl

But let me give you some dating tips when dating online. 

1. only set up coffee, juice, or soda dates. They’re short, inexpensive, and you’re really gonna get to see how you interact with that person. You’re not stuck with them for a long time. They’re not out a lot of money. And if they can’t afford a five dollar coffee for me they can’t afford me. 

2. Set your date up in an open area Starbucks, Jamba juice or any cute little coffee shop.

3. When you post your photos online make sure you look like your photos don’t photoshop so much they can’t even recognize you. I got remarks all the time that says I can’t believe you actually look like your picture. And I want them to look like their picture as well, so if they show up on a date and they don’t look like their photos I’m disappointed. You don’t want the person that you’re out on a date with to be disappointed either.

4. You don’t have to do all your interview questions on the first date. You barely know the person he wants to get grilled.  Get to know them a little bit. And still keep your options open just because you’re dating him doesn’t mean you don’t need to date somebody else as well. And I’m not talking about sleeping with everybody. Keep your legs closed, guys like that. Even if you have a high libido and you want to knock uglys between the sheets.  There is a time and place for everything you just have to wait it out. 

My best tip is just have fun with it and let the cool wind blow in your hair.

6 Comments
  • Susan Duckworth

    Online is tough, but manageable! Go with your intuition, it has your best interest in mind! You are so cool, Heather!! I’m glad you found your guy, he’s the lucky one!!

  • Nice job Heather! This is great info…. I’ve actually been active for the last 6 or so years and have every story in the book but I’m extremely picky so I count to 100 (usually swipping left) and I call it a day. I’ve met some FANTASTIC men, but for me… I’m just too tall and don’t enjoy feeling like a sister or a mother.

    My advise. Figure out how you want to feel around someone, become the best version of yourself, make a simple list of how they look and what they value and then think about where you will find that type of guy! Be active, enjoy your conversations and express what you want… I just think if we all work together, then we can help each other meet our twin flame. There are plenty of people to love and be loved and if I can support someone to find the right one, then it’s time to celebrate and just share the love and joyfulness of being happy!

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